[hmmms]

i've been thinking quite alot tonight. its driving myself nuts and i feel a splitting headache coming on. been chatting with yumi and she got me to watch chicago's clips which were entertaining and interesting. but thats not what's been driving me nuts. oh well anyways,i dont know why i feel this way uh. not gonna explain further about the feeling cause i simply cant. its just weird. i know i shouldnt feel this way,but unfortunately,i do. fuck i have seriously tried to ignore the bloody feeling countless times. to just move on or whatever you people might call it. but every single time i do, it'll immediately come back to me as though its not meant for me to forget or just erase. i just know it'll haunt me for a long time to come. i hope that one day,i will out-grow this feeling. maybe when i'm piled up to my head with work when school starts,i will. perhaps drowning myself in work will somehow ease the feeling. but i know i'll still be thinking about it all the time. God help me please. why do i feel this way? please help me erase it. please,i beg of You. sigh. i cant explain the feeling. i'm no good with words. and expressing what i feel into words is just impossible for me. i can never do it. sometimes,i regret. alot of times in fact. regrets,so many regrets. maybe its cause of that one incident that caused this feeling to be permanently engraved within my soul. maybe i shouldnt have done that. maybe,just so many maybes. but whats done is done. we can never change the past. yes i know i might be potraying myself as a happy-go-lucky person,problem-free and happy. but i tell you. theres sadness within me that even i dont understand and can never get rid of. this is of course on top of all the normal shit life throws at us. sheesh. thank you again sly for making this blog for me. for i can pour out,if not all, some of my woos here. i think my heart cant hold anymore. it will break at a single wrong move. i guess its from all those years of keeping things mum and holding it all in.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go
.Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts.
And we are never, ever the same again.

hmms its late.. i guess i'd better go. good bye.