[Bring Back Isaiah as Burke!]

Michael Joseph Jackson 1958 - 2009
I have to say I am not at all ready to comment on Michael Jackson's death. Maybe its the fact that just the night before I was thinking to myself, "You shouldn't spend so much! Michael Jackson is coming to Singapore soon. You've gotta save money for his concert ticket." Maybe its the fact that I was too tired to react appropriately when my Dad came barging into my room and saying "Michael Jackson is dead!" at 9am in the morning when I only went to sleep at 6am. Maybe its because his death is too fucking sudden. Maybe its because even after all the tributes, all the tears, all the news, I still can't believe he's dead. And maybe because there's been so many losses for me this year and I can't deal with another one, yet. Maybe..
Some of my friends might've known that I'm quite a big fan of MJ. I've even set up a demand for his concert on Eventful.com in the hope that maybe he'll come across it online and, since he's been here a couple of times, might consider performing here again on his world tour whOne thing that has come up from all this is that I'm in constant contact with my friend from German class when we were in SP. Apparently, we're both fanatics who are still in denial about MJ's death. We keep each other updated on the latest news on MJ's tributes and what not. Ah well. I don't know. I just feel tired. Listening to MJ's songs is always so therapeutic. Sigh.

He thrilled the world with his "THRILLER" and showed us the "MOONWALK"...He questioned on who is "BAD" and "HEAL THE WORLD" with his childlike heart..He said it aint about the color in "BLACK OR WHITE" and reminded us that "WE ARE THE WORLD"..He did create "HISTORY" on becoming the all time entertainer of this century..Apart from the fame lies a man who only needed love..even though he has departed us, he will always be there as he sang in his song "I'LL BE THERE"...MICHAEL JACKSON (1958-2009).. is a true legend who has "GONE TOO SOON"… May his soul rest in peace. Luv u Michael.. - Jason Mike Madasamy(SG)

On another note, Mom has been grilling me on what I've got planned for the future. And guess what? I have no fucking idea what I'm going to do with my pathetic life right now. Its driving me freaking nuts and I'd get angry. Any suggestions would be nice since my so-called friends have already deserted me when they've gotten into various Universities. Actually, somehow I'm contemplating being a surgeon. Inspired by the show Grey's Anatomy. I know its monumentally stupid to try to do something just because you enjoy watching the show or whatever. That's why I'm not doing anything yet. Plus can you imagine all the memorising I have to do to get through med school? I only have to remember my pure bio days in secondary school to imagine how it'd be like. Its pure torture. My other thoughts are of me being a chef, a mechanic, or an entrepeneur. What the heck right? My guess is, I can't achieve any of these. So yeah I'm still thinking and I'm open to any suggestions.

On a lighter note, I finally got myself to watch season 5 of Grey's Anatomy because I couldn't stand the waiting and of course I had to watch for myself what was so good about Owen Hunt. Let's be real. Kevin McKidd's body is hot. But his face isn't something I want to look at on every episode. Yeah he's a great trauma surgeon and yeah he's Yeah yeah Cristina appears to be really in love with him and he's equally in love with her but they're too dysfunctional. Too similar. And let's not get me started on his kissing. He doesn't even look like he's kissing her for God's sake! Now we compare him with Burke. Burke is almost normal despite the fact that he has a God complex. But like Cristina said all surgeons "are workaholics with God complexes!". While Cristina lost her father in a car accident with her stopping his bleeding with her hands and feeling his heart stop beating and then with her mother not paying her enough attention and even after remarrying fails to pay any attention to her, I can understand why Cristina is the way she is. But Burke on the other hand had a normal life. A mom and a dad who cares for him. They're probably well to do as well. So the fact that he can fall in love with her eventhough she is gravely emotionally stunted, makes it brilliant to watch. I love watching them interact knowing that they are opposites in nature except for the fact that they are totally career driven. I love their dynamic and of course their kisses are always, always so soul-searing it hurts to watch. Yes I'll admit that Burke might've loved her more than she loved him and that he can be really overbearing at times. I like that Cristina finally has someone after a whole season alone but I just cannot bring myself to like Owen no matter how hard I try. Burke on the other hand, I love him from the get go. Owen is like a stray cat in a home. Struggling and trying too hard to fit in while having nightmares from living in the wild. Burke is a force. His presence just begs to be acknowledged. He knows he belongs there and everyone else knows it as well. I have to disagree with people saying that the character Burke was just so that Cristina had someone to be with. What about the previous episodes? They weren't together then and he damn well had an important part to play in the hospital. Even after they were sleeping together, he still had that episode where his friend is sterile but his wife was pregnant. OR MAYBE I JUST FREAKING LIKE HIM BETTER. That said... ABC AND SHONDA PLEASE BRING BACK ISAIAH WASHINGTON AS PRESTON BURKE!

I could go on and on and on about this but I guess it'll have to end some time. Grey's Anatomy really takes my mind off my pathetic life and all the losses I've faced. MJ's passing hasn't been easy for me. I don't know why. But all I know is watching Grey's Anatomy takes me to places I'd rather be in and admittedly its also the reason why I haven't made a decision about my life/future. Whatever man. Right now, I can't be bothered.