[i'm sorry]

this man... this man... i have no words to say... i feel like crumpling up and dying because, truth be told, i was jealous. i had drawn my own conclusions of why this song was written and i was jealous of what it insinuated. i never knew.. oh God help me i never knew.. now my tears won't stop falling and i am a complete wreck. i'm sorry for doubting you. i realise the pain you're in. i'm sorry to the girl who died/is dying. i'm sorry, baby. i'm so sorry.

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The Story Behind T.O.P’s ‘Oh Mom’ Song

Note: We haven’t verified if the sources of this story is true. But this is what is posted on the blog:

Hello
— Story There’s so many versions of the story, to be honest. But basically, a girl third year in middle school was diagnosed with a terminal disease, and she really wanted to see TOP before she died. so she sent letters to him and stuff,

but when TOP saw those letters, he didn’t think she was serious because so many fans feign things like that just to see him.

Then later, when she got really ill or died, her relatives sent TOP a letter/video of the dying/dead girl. TOP apparently cried after he read/saw/watched the letter/video of the dying/dead girl and composed a song dedicated to her.

OH MOM

Written & Composed by: T.O.P
GD&TOP ALBUM

How could this happen to me
But even worse, how could this happen to you
It began with a letter and was the beginning of pain
I’m a tell it to you straight

this part is essentially top’s lament on how she told him about it from the beginning (through letter) but he didnt listen. . My body is ill, but you don’t reply; sorry I’m sorry, bye- TOP. “My body is ill, but you don’t reply” is how TOP assumes the girl felt by his lack of response, and “sorry I’m sorry, bye” is how TOP thinks the girl assumed TOP to think.

Oh mom, What should I do mom
A selfishness hotter than a fire torments me, Oh my God
Oh mom, I promise mom, What can I do
Now, I now, Oh my God, Oh my God

“Mom” is an extended metaphor throughout the whole song, the “mom” representing God. When TOP asks “mom” for advice, he is asking God for advice. “I promise” implies that he will do what God tells him too, if God will tell him what he can do.

A desolate day, I receive a letter
Your circumstances make me tear
If my voice brightens your world
Farther and farther, I’ll shout
Nananana Nananana Do you hear my heavy heart
Friend wipe your tears, I think you’re prettier when you smile
Sorry I’m sorry, Oh my God

This is when TOP finally saw/watched the letter/video from the girl’s relatives. He cried- “your circumstances make me tear.” Then he says that he will dedicate his songs and his voice to the girl if that can make her happy (and lively). The “sorry i’m sorry” here is quite different from the same line before, because whereas the “sorry i’m sorry” used before had a careless, “okay, yeah sure” tone to it, the “sorry i’m sorry” used here has a desperate cry to it.
.

Baby don’t cry, You may feel alone
Don’t worry, It may be lonely but you’re not the only one
Look beside you, you’re not alone
Don’t cry, You stand vacantly alone
Don’t worry, It may be lonely but you’re not the only one
Look beside you, you’re not alone

This is TOP encouraging the girl not to cry and not to feel alone because people [TOP] is there for her. . Life is funny, It’s a delicate play with fire.

Playful obstacles are life’s restraints.

This part is very significant. TOP is talking about how he didnt think the girl’s first letter was real, because of the “playful obstacles” (i.e. other fan’s fake illnesses) in an indirect manner. . Keep your head up Continuation of TOP’s encouragement. . This is what TOP whispers in the middle (its never on any lyrics-sites for some reason): 어머님. 같은 사람이라 생각하니 가슴이 답답하고 무겁습니다 어쩌면 죽을지도 모릅니다. 웃음소리가 사라지지 않도록 지켜주십시오. meaning mom.

My heart is burdened and heavy that she may die. Please protect her so that her laughters will not disappear.

As I mentioned before, “mom” is “God.” the rest is self-explanatory: it’s a prayer. — so i talked way more than you wouldve liked me to. but my point is that yes, it was inspired by an event (a personal one, too) and yes, it’s a story of a dying/dead person. top is such a beautiful person. inside and out. just. UGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I hope this answered your question, love (: idk. i just hate having to explain like. one part of the song. because everything is so much more meaningful as a whole.

Source: Toptopia at tumblr
Credits: x0x0, tabisan official thread at ygl
Video: www.choiseunghyun.com
Shared by: Elle at ygunited.com