[hold on now]
yesterday:
well an uncle(sort of) who is from indonesia visited. the first thing he said to me when i stepped in the house was "nurul ni sentiasa cantik eh." which means nurul is always pretty. now i dont always regard myself as pretty. i am ugly infact. so that was a nice surprise to me. it made my day. haha! woops? i need something nice what. u cant blame me. =D. enough of the happy talk. the food at home yesterday was not nice so i asked mom and dad to buy some for me. they were'nt happy and scolded me. hah. no surprise there. i was so pissed off with them. when they got home, mom even got the cheek to say " mcm boring aje" which means like boring only-direct translation. i didnt say anything. just showed her my pissed off face. so i went to bed with an empty stomach. sian.
today:
i thought today was going to be a better day. but it turned out worst i suppose. afterall,it made me cry. i almost broke down in front of my parents and my aunty for fucks sake. sheesh. my heart cant take it anymore. i was really psyched to go to tampines mall because after a few days for thinking about whether to buy the toy pool or not,i decided that i want to. i already told them i wanted to go to toys r us to get a TOY VERSION OF POOL. they seemed fine with it. so we went to toys r us. i found what i was looking for straight away. the price is fucking expensive la to say the least. but i wanted it. i almost got it. when suddenly my dad says "what?! u want this?! so small its for kids! its not for adults! dont waste you money!". well,naturally mom supported him. aunty was a bit sympathetic. wanted to get for me but in the end listened to my parents. hah. great,just terrific. and the best part is,as i've stated above,i already told them i wanted to get a TOY POOL. so obviously a toy is a child's play thing. thats why its in toys r us and thats also why its smaller that the real thing and also its why CHILDREN play with it. good god! ok thats over with. then comes the other part. well,the food at home has been a bit uhm idontknowwhattosay lately. so since mom and dad keep going out this few days,i thought they could get me something to eat. well,like before i got scolded time and again. also i have expressed my desire to eat new york pizza to them before. but they didnt get it for me. so i stopped asking. i asked them about it once only btw. so anyways,we passed by the new york pizza stall and dad suddenly stopped. then said " eh tunggu. nak tengok pizza ni ah. belikan pizza untuk jaar(azhar-my brother)." i was going like what the fuck?! i asked them and they scolded the fuck out of me. my brother didnt say any shit and he gets it. raaa! god i swear i almost fucking broke down there and then infront of them. i held it all back. and god help me i was about to shout and swear and curse at them and anyone else who was in my way and kept banging into me. but again i held it all back. i thought of the consequences if i did. patience is a virtue.
anyways,i think im getting too emotional these days. its like fucking weird lor. i never used to be this sad, and down before. not forgetting that i can easily cry nowadays. ish sick. to me crying is like showing my weakness. i used to just laugh at sad shows and people who cry watching them. but now i end up crying with them. its weird. its getting harder and harder to control the tears from flowing out. sigh. i dont know. i think i need to be stronger.
now i am at home. worrying about the sensor circuit that i had to do before thursday. u see,i left my toolbox in school. hah. oh and not forgetting the toy pool that i never got. hmmm. i am sad and depressed. so dear friends please do me a favour and dont piss me off. goodbye and take care. remember patience is a virtue. sheesh im becoming some sort of confucius. eee.
well an uncle(sort of) who is from indonesia visited. the first thing he said to me when i stepped in the house was "nurul ni sentiasa cantik eh." which means nurul is always pretty. now i dont always regard myself as pretty. i am ugly infact. so that was a nice surprise to me. it made my day. haha! woops? i need something nice what. u cant blame me. =D. enough of the happy talk. the food at home yesterday was not nice so i asked mom and dad to buy some for me. they were'nt happy and scolded me. hah. no surprise there. i was so pissed off with them. when they got home, mom even got the cheek to say " mcm boring aje" which means like boring only-direct translation. i didnt say anything. just showed her my pissed off face. so i went to bed with an empty stomach. sian.
today:
i thought today was going to be a better day. but it turned out worst i suppose. afterall,it made me cry. i almost broke down in front of my parents and my aunty for fucks sake. sheesh. my heart cant take it anymore. i was really psyched to go to tampines mall because after a few days for thinking about whether to buy the toy pool or not,i decided that i want to. i already told them i wanted to go to toys r us to get a TOY VERSION OF POOL. they seemed fine with it. so we went to toys r us. i found what i was looking for straight away. the price is fucking expensive la to say the least. but i wanted it. i almost got it. when suddenly my dad says "what?! u want this?! so small its for kids! its not for adults! dont waste you money!". well,naturally mom supported him. aunty was a bit sympathetic. wanted to get for me but in the end listened to my parents. hah. great,just terrific. and the best part is,as i've stated above,i already told them i wanted to get a TOY POOL. so obviously a toy is a child's play thing. thats why its in toys r us and thats also why its smaller that the real thing and also its why CHILDREN play with it. good god! ok thats over with. then comes the other part. well,the food at home has been a bit uhm idontknowwhattosay lately. so since mom and dad keep going out this few days,i thought they could get me something to eat. well,like before i got scolded time and again. also i have expressed my desire to eat new york pizza to them before. but they didnt get it for me. so i stopped asking. i asked them about it once only btw. so anyways,we passed by the new york pizza stall and dad suddenly stopped. then said " eh tunggu. nak tengok pizza ni ah. belikan pizza untuk jaar(azhar-my brother)." i was going like what the fuck?! i asked them and they scolded the fuck out of me. my brother didnt say any shit and he gets it. raaa! god i swear i almost fucking broke down there and then infront of them. i held it all back. and god help me i was about to shout and swear and curse at them and anyone else who was in my way and kept banging into me. but again i held it all back. i thought of the consequences if i did. patience is a virtue.
anyways,i think im getting too emotional these days. its like fucking weird lor. i never used to be this sad, and down before. not forgetting that i can easily cry nowadays. ish sick. to me crying is like showing my weakness. i used to just laugh at sad shows and people who cry watching them. but now i end up crying with them. its weird. its getting harder and harder to control the tears from flowing out. sigh. i dont know. i think i need to be stronger.
now i am at home. worrying about the sensor circuit that i had to do before thursday. u see,i left my toolbox in school. hah. oh and not forgetting the toy pool that i never got. hmmm. i am sad and depressed. so dear friends please do me a favour and dont piss me off. goodbye and take care. remember patience is a virtue. sheesh im becoming some sort of confucius. eee.
posted by shikin at 11:13 PM
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